Saturday, February 22, 2014

The perfect strategy for the apocalypse

During the first few days of impending doom, you're most likely to be in a panic to find nutritious foods and other useful supplies like first aid and water purification. But one thing most people are sure to overlook in the scramble is the sweet, delicious sugar.

"The apocalypse is no time for frivolous things like that!" Well you may have your point, think about it: it's perfect for reducing stress and you're sure to have plenty of that. But it is also addictive and wonderful tasting. Everyone is going to be stressed out and thinking, "I could KILL for a candy bar." That's your signal to roll up in your armored van an say, "I have candy."

No, you're not trying to kidnap them. But since everyone is in desperation for a taste of sugary goodness, you can hike up your prices for your chocolate and cookies and even just bags of pure baking sugar. After they give you much needed ammunition and gasoline and blankets, you can give them a few Hershey's bars and be on your way. And you can even keep plenty for yourself.

In the beginning, no one is going to take you seriously. But the longer you wait to trade your confections, the greater thirst for them, and the greater the rewards.

I must be a genius.

-Lizzy

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