Caleb.....

Last night I had the oddest of dreams... I was sitting in a room at a table. Caleb was there and he was sitting next to me facing me, our friend were on the other side of the table. I was drawing pictures on my napkin during lunch and he grabbed the pen, he didnt say anything. He wrote in sloppy handwritting "I like you" I looked up to see his face two inches from mine. I grabbed the pen and wrote "I like you too." he looked up and smiled. When he left to go get food, our friends asked "what did he write that made him happy?" I just gently folded up the napkin smiling and slipped it in my pocket as I said "nothing" I found him walking to the lunch line so I strolled next to him. I said "do you want to tell our friend or do you want me too?" he said he would. I looked up and saw the side profile of his face and smiled. Then school was over, infront of the building when he was leaving, he wrapped me in his arms and held me for a second. Well I'm guessing our friends knew now. He then leaned in so close I could feel his breath and said "see you tomarrow." he then released me and walked off. Then I woke up all giddy, then I was sad because it didnt actually happen. When I saw him at school today all I could think of was his breath giving me goose bumps, The note in my pocket. He kept glancing at me in the hallway, And I kept thinking of my dream.

Nick wame, I asked him why he is friends with me so he said "cause your diffrent, your not like other girls, and your pretty and hilarious." It was so sweet :) Then he said he'd dreamed about me, but it meant "nothing" ;) okay nick. suuuuuuuure. I need sleep. Maybe I'll dream about Caleb..... Good night freaks, Love you!!!!

sweet dream *kisses*
~Ronan

P.S my schools having a spring formal....maybe Caleb will be there....

My birthday :)

      My my my. Guess who turned 16 and totally forgot about posting? well it's March 18 so im just a few days late :) My mom threw this big party and invited all our (mostly Lizzy's cause im a loner) friends, well I got bored and I slipped away for part of it, and guess who else I discovered? My baby brother Toby :) we hid in this little space I have in my room that mom has yet to discover, its under my carpet and its a small hide out I go into. Well me and Toby went in there and just talked like old times. He puts himself out there to seem so tough and make himself seem so strong, when really, he's just a 14 year old boy who is scared of no fitting in. It's moments like that, that I realize how pressure can really change you, maybe that's why dad was the way he was. 

      Speaking of my daddy dearest, he came. Right before the party. He has only left cards on our birthday's or called but when he came I could tell Lizzy missed him. she hugged him and I think she was trying hard not to cry, I didn't cry, I saw him and yes I did run to his arms, he smelt of cigarettes and coffee. Just like old times. My mom hugged him, I know she still loves him and he still loves her, she just had to do what was right for us. Toby doesn't realize that he's turning into our father, he hates our dad. He saw him and punched him right in the nose when he tried to hug him, called him unpleasant names, flipped him off then walked right out the door. Our mom ran to the door and was yelling at Toby outside making many hand gestures, Toby hugged her than left. I don't know where he went but later he texted me and made sure dad was gone before coming back. He wasn't stoned and he didn't look like he had been fooling around... When we ditched the party I asked him about it and he just said he had to think. He truly did look sad, which made him look years older. We started talking about our father and he started to get upset (don't tell anybody about this) he started crying, so I held him like I used to when Dad got upset, and when he calmed down we went up stairs, he met one of Liz's bratty rich friends and, again ditched the party, but I truly don't think they were just talking. That kids got problems. So I had a great birthday party :) 

                                                               ~Ronan

Thank you!!!!

Ronan and Lizzy here! we have a big thanks to all of you reading this blog!

205-United States

12-Germany

1-Russia

1-Jamaica 

Love you guys!

~Ronan and Lizzy

I don't really want to visit the wizard, honestly...

Our school hosts a play every year. Auditions are held. Positions are given.

Now let me tell you: I am a center stage kind of actress. I do not like to hang around behind the scenes -- or to the side of the scene. No, I like to speak loudly, to use my voice. To play a part.

Not be a flying monkey-munchkin-winkie.

And that's exactly what I am. It's not like I failed the auditions or anything, I just didn't show up to them. So they assigned me a background part. Not a word will escape my lips, except for the group songs. And I do not want to be a part of a group. I want to be a star.

So you can probably see my dilemma. I hate my parts, and practice is long and slow. I have to silently revel in my jealousy of Dorothy and the Lion and the witches. I know it's my fault for not showing up to the audition, but nonetheless, I can hardly stand it. The thing is, I tried to quit. Twice. But each time, I got too nervous. I would say "nothing," or "nevermind," and sadly go back to my seat.

I have five friends in drama,  and whenever I tell them that I want to quit, they beg me to stay. And our mother wants me to stay in, too, since one of the shows is on her birthday, and she wants to see it then. It makes me feel terrible for wanting to quit.

What do I do?!

-Flying monkey-munchkin-weenie
 Don't scribble out the weenie you weenie. Love ya sister!!! *kisses*~Ronan
-Lizzy

Theres such a thing as respect.

So there is this funny site called omegle you can talk to strangers, I don't give any personal information except for a fake email that I made in case I meet a cool person. Well this dip wad thought he was something special so here's our conversation...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

me: hi

Stranger: m or f

me: im a freaking princess

Stranger: ok how old r u

me: you tell me first Mr.Hotshot

Stranger: i'm 17

me: im not

Stranger: u r

me: not

Stranger: how old

me: 15

Stranger: ok ru a virgin\

me: why in the name of freaking hades would you care?

Stranger: do u want to suck my cock

me: your an ass you know that/

me: you dont go around saying that. A girl is not a peice of meat. Go to this blog, there might be post about you soon.

me: http://ronanandlizzy.blogspot.com/

Stranger: fuck u bitch

me: im good but thanks for asking :)

Stranger has disconnected.

 or turn on video

He thought he was so cool. Hopefully he is reading this right now, in that case he needs to go get a life. I don't get on that site to "hookup", I go on to see just how people truly are its hilarious. And for anybody who wants to go on that site, don't use the video, you'll just end up with some creep. But woman are not a piece of meat you can have sex with and then throw them aside. Treat them with respect because someday you'll piss of the right girl and you're gonna wish you hadn't. I don't know why Lizzy is so inactive on here, I know we live together but I haven't seen much of her. And by the way, if your the dip wad who I was talking to on omegle then you better learn something from this because eventually you will have to grow up and what then? will you be 80 and getting blow jobs from 18 year old? you can just go play with yourself jerk. Anybody else reading this can have a great day :) if your a guy reading this,  learn something from that brat I got to talk to because someday you will hurt a girl like me and well there's nothing we do better than revenge ;)

*Kisss*

~Ronan

Stress.....

     Life is so stressful. Like your carrying a burden, the burden is a small ball of clay, and each mistake another piece gets added on to the small bead, if there is a super horrible mistake, the chunk of  clay added will get bigger. It's like nobody can take your "Clay Ball" from you once you've gotten that tiny bead, people can try but sooner or later, once your carrying the huge ball that get's so heavy, they give up on even trying. For all of you whom have read "The Titans Curse" in the Percy Jackson series, it's like when Percy and Annabeth hold the sky, the clay gets heavy and soon your left at the breaking point. Right now I wish I was on a river, floating aimlessly, while the current flowed over my skin and took me away.

To me, the best feeling IS when im in the water, we have this family vacation trailer, on a river a few hours away from our house in Oregon, and we'd float down the river and stop at little "Islands" as me and Lizzy would call them. The slow and steady current running past me as the hot sun made the water light up green and holding my breath for as long as possible just to stay in that world I've created around me. It's like when i'm in the water, everything above surface get's left behind once your in the water. If I could I would stay there forever, It's the most peaceful place I could ever be. Winter is dark and depressing, while in the Summer it's so hard to be mad. I cant wait for late June when the sun is baking down on me and I can think for awhile in the water. :)

*kisses*

~Ronan